Well, I am 19 and still a virgin.. to Pure and Desire... Pure, you go...
that is great... To Desire.. all I can say is, I hope that you are able to
wait until that special someone finds their way to you...

I am going to be 20 later this month, and I am waiting. I have always
thought that you should wait until marriage, although I can give in on that
one as long as you truly love that person... that you plan on spending your
lives together, that you are honest (especially if one of you is not a
virgin), and that you are not acting solely on the basis of lust.

I actually volunteer speaking at schools about this.... I am a Christian,
and marriage is one of God's greatest gifts, in my opinion. However, if you
choose not to wait, I urge you to be safe about it. Some of the people in
these pages had their first times without condoms or birth control... most
of them had no idea about their partner's history... the beautiful part
about marriage is that you usually know this already.

I have a boyfriend; we have been together for almost 9 months, and I hope to
marry him in the not so distant future, and I know his sexual history, and
he knows mine (which is obviously an easy one to answer... ). He is not a
virgin, he is a secondary or spiritual virgin... which, while being hard for
me to deal with emotionally (that I won't be his first), I can understand
that the chemistry thing is very, very strong. There are times when I
consider not waiting, but I am lucky enough to be with someone who is also
rededicating his life to waiting, because even though we love each other, we
know that there is no point in rushing it... we have our whole lives to have
sex... and we are getting to know each other more on a personal,
intellectual, spiritual, and emotional level right now.

All I can say is to you all (Desire) who are considering losing it in order
to gain experience... I have that thought so often... but think about, if
you are truly marrying someone who loves you (or maybe not marrying.. just
living together or just forwarding your relationship), how special of a gift
that will be to give him. That is what I try to keep in mind. It gets
difficult sometimes, but I believe that it will be worth it to know that we
made it... and that he is going to be the only one who I will ever, EVER
make love to.

Like Pure said, virgins can give it away, but you can never really get it
back.... if you do decide to try this, though, I am a believer in
spiritual/second virginity.... but this requires abstinence until you do
find "the one"... for those of you trying, I hope you make it and I wish you
luck.

We all need reassurance sometimes... just remember that we all fall, we are
not perfect, and some of us make the choice to have sex before marriage.
That is a choice that each of us makes... it is not something that should be
related to peer pressure... there is lust involved, but it takes so much
more than that to make a relationship work. Personally I wouldn't have self
respect if I did sleep with a guy on the first date... and I have never been
comfortable enough with anyone on a first date to do so... call it
upbringing, or, if you want to be cruel, call it frigid. However, there are
times when even those who are Christians, even those who are the most
devoted... who have thoughts of moving on to a more sexual relationship with
their partner... nothing is wrong with this... what is wrong is acting on it
with any old person you meet. Make it special and wonderful... make it
something you'll remember (aka no alcohol) forever.

I love all of you guys.. God bless and give you self control and esteem if
you need it... if not, you must be a really incredible person.. :)