Archive-name: Changes/bates25.txt
Archive-author: 
Archive-title: Joe Bates' Story- 25


                  The 25th Chapter of the Joe Bates Story

     Linda's car was in the drive when Joe and Jay pulled in. Joe had consumed
two trinks with Jay, and he was certainly feeling the effects. Jay worried
that Linda would be irritated with him, as if it was his fault that Joe had
acquired the buzz which lowered his inhibitions and made him talk about
anything which came to his head.  Apparently, a great many things were passing
through Joe's head this evening...He seemed to constantly talk about something
or another during the drive to Linda's.

     They went inside where Linda was sitting on the lounge watching the news
on TV.

     Hello Joe. And you too Jay." She said. "What have you two been up too?"

     "We went flying." Joe said. "I just had to get away for a while." 

     "And I better be going." Jay said, edging toward the door.

     "Aw, come on Jay, stick around a while." Joe asked. He didn't want his
friend to leave. He liked being around Jay.

     "No, I better be going." Jay repeated. His new feelings for his pal were
difficult enough to deal with, without being around Linda too.

     Joe could sense Jay was uncomfortable. He decided to let his friend go.
If Jay did have new feelings for him, he didn't want Linda to find out. Not
yet, anyway. Things were already confusing enough.

     Jay left, leaving Joe alone with Linda. She came over to where he was
seated, and started massaging his neck. It felt good, but Joe was becoming
uncomfortable being around her...touching her. He wasn't sure why, but it was
a strange thing to deal with.  He just didn't know how to handle it.

     Joe leaned back, and looked up at Linda. She smiled lovingly as she
looked into his eyes.

     "Linda, am I...are we...ah...er...becoming lesbians?" Joe asked.

     She looked at him. "Do you feel like one?" She asked, smiling.

     "I don't know." Joe said. Although he was still feeling the effects of
the drinks, he had still had trouble talking about his new feelings.

     "I realize that I can't be a man...I just don't look like a man anymore,
and I guess I don't feel like one either, at least the not way I should...when
I'm with you.  I think I'm still changing...still turning more female...and I
really don't know when it will stop, or what I can do about it." Joe said.

     "So...You don't like to be around me?" Linda asked.

     "No, no, it isn't that." Joe answered, taking her hand. "I like to be
around you...hell, I NEED to be around you. Who else could help me deal with
all this?"

     "I don't know what we are, Joe Bates." Linda said. "If you think
your...we're both...lesbians, then I guess that's what we are. Does it matter
to you?"

     "Linda, I'm a guy...at least I was a guy. To me, you're a good looking
woman. You still are." Joe tried to explain. "But look at me.  I don't look
anything like I used to. Maybe I'm a woman...maybe I just look like one...but
whatever I am, I just don't understand what you see in me anymore."

     "Joe, to me you're the guy I love." Linda said. "I don't what's going to
happen to us, but I know I'll stay with you as long as you want me too.  Sure,
I wish you still had your male body...God, I hope you can get it back...but if
you can't, I think I can handle it, if you want too.  But, I guess I'll
understand if you don't."

     "Look at us." Joe said. "We look like two women...I mean, I guess we ARE
two women."

     "But if they change you back, it can be like it was, can't it?" Linda
asked.

     "If that happens, I still want to get married...that is if you still say
yes." Joe smiled.

     "I'm ready as soon as you can arrainge it." Linda assured him, tossling
the hair of his hairpiece.

     Joe reached up and quickly but carefully pulled the wig off, and tossed
it on the low table in front of them.

     "This darn thing is hot and irritating." Joe said.  "I guess I look
better with it, but I sure wish I didn't need it."

     Linda started to run her fingers through Joe's natural hair. It was
slightly damp with persperation, and it smelled faintly of the perfume he put
on earlier. Joe leaned back and enjoyed her gentle touch.  With his body
feminized as it was, everything that touched it felt different now, usually
more sensuous.  He still hadn't adjusted to the heightened sense of touch.

     "Why don't you have your hair done?" Linda asked. "You don't need to wear
that wig."

     "What do you mean?" Joe asked. "My hair isn't long enough yet, is it?"

     "Well, it could be a little longer." Linda agreed, pulling his hair down
in front, like bangs. "But I think there might be some kind of style that
would work with the length you've got."

     "Do you really think so?" Joe asked again. He couldn't wait to do without
the wig.

     "Do you want me to call Sally?" Linda asked. Sally was Linda's
hairdresser.

     "Will you have to tell her about me?" Joe asked.

     "Not if you don't want her to know." Linda said. "I doubt if she would
believe it anyway. I can tell her you are your sister, from St. Louis or
somewhere, if that's what you want."

     "Yeah, I do." Joe considered. "I don't want everybody knowing about this
yet. Not until I'm sure we can't be changed back."

     Linda sat down next to Joe, and picked up the cordless phone beside the
lounge and punched in a number.

     "Sally, this is Linda Mitchell. Hi. Yeah, I'm fine. No, I have someone
here who I'd like you to see. He...She needs her hair done...its very
short...a friend cut it for her and she hates it. Yes. I think that would be
ok. Just a minute." Linda looked at Joe.

     "Can you go tomorrow?" She asked Joe. 

     "I don't have to come in to work till noon, at the earliest." Joe said.

     "Really?" Linda responded. She went back to the phone.

     "Sally, she's free tomorrow morning." Linda said. "Yes. Great. I'll tell
her. Her name is Joel. Joel Bates. Yeah, she's Joe's sister...from St. Louis.
Yes. I think they are twins...paternal twins."

     Joe cringed as he listened to the story Linda was concocting. He hoped
her lie didn't come back to haunt him. Twin sister huh? Well, He did look a
lot like his own twin sister, if he had one.

     Linda finished the call and hung up. Joe got up from the couch. He
started to go to his room.

     "Oh, that reminds me." Linda said. "I was in Bullocks over lunch, and I
found this fantastic dress.  I just knew it would be right for you. I know
you'll like it. I put it on your bed."

     Great, Joe thought. Now my girl friend is buying me dresses she just
knows would be RIGHT for me.

     Joe went to his room, Linda following close behind. On the bed lay the
dress. It was a twill cotton shirtdress with a notch collar surplice top.  It
had a pleated knee length straight skirt, and it was an olive color.  It came
with a wide, fabric covered, matching color belt, with a gold buckle. Linda
was right, as usual.  He liked it immediately.

     "You've got to try it on." Linda insisted. If it don't fit, or you if
don't like it, I'll return it tomorrow. I think it's a little big for me, but
it's probably just your size."

     Joe picked it up by the hanger and looking it over.

     "Come on Joe, try it on." Linda said again. "I just know it'll look great
on you."

     As Linda watched, Joe pulled the T-shirt over his head. The thin fabric
of his bra's seamless cups did nothing to hide the little points of his erect
nipples. He absent mindedly rubbed his hand across his breasts, and then
looked down at them. He saw Linda watching, and it made him blush.

     She smiled when she saw he was embarrassed.

     "How is it Joe, are you getting used to all this?" She asked
sympatheticly.

     He looked at her and smiled. "I guess I'll live." He said.

     "I see you changed clothes when you came from work." Linda said. She
looked at the bra and panties laying on the bed. It was obvious that they had
been previously worn.  "Underwear too?"

     "Yeah." Joe said. How could he explain this?

     "I just wanted to." He said. "I don't know why."

     "Sure." Linda said. "Wear what ever makes you feel good."

     Joe unbuttoned the gray shorts and slipped out of them. When Linda saw he
wore the black thong bikini, her grin got wider.

     "God Joe, you are so attractive." She said. "I don't blame you for
wanting to wear things like that."

     "What do you mean?" Joe asked. "You wear stuff like this too." The
panties tickled where they touched him, and he idly scratched his pubic area
as he spoke.

     "You've never seen me in thong back undies." Linda denied. "I think they
make my hips look too big. They look absolutely great on you though."

     "I didn't ask to be this way." Joe said. "But I'm gonna try to make the
best of what I have left."

     "Well, I really wish you were still male." Linda said. "But you do make a
great looking woman."

     Yeah, Joe thought. Thats what everybody thinks. His best friend, and
now...his fiance. Could it happen that Linda and Jay might change places in
his life?

     "I'm trying my best." Joe said. "But I gotta say, it's a little wierd
when your girl friend...your fiance...buys dresses for you."

     "I'm sorry." Linda said. "I just thought you would like it. I know you
need clothes for work if they don't get you changed back soon."

     "Don't be sorry." Joe corrected. "I really like the dress. You have
excellent taste. That's only one of the reasons I love you. But I still have
to get accustomed to wearing this stuff." He removed the dress from the
hanger, and pulled it over his head.

     Without the extra hair of the wig, his head went throught the neck
opening very easily. Joe smoothed the pleats around his hips, and arrainged
the collar around his neck. The dress was the fullest he had ever worn till
now, and it felt a bit strange. He went to the dresser mirror, and liked what
he saw.

     The new dress was perfect. It fit like it was made just for his new
shape. He even liked the neckline. The color was exactly right for too. He
criticaly examined his short hair. Yeah, it did seem a little longer now.
Maybe he really could get by without the wig. He would go to Sally's tomorrow.
Joe discovered what most natural women know. A new dress worked wonders, and
helped to make him feel good about his appearance.

     Linda watched as Joe looked at his image in the mirror. It was obvious to
her that he was becoming more familure with the changes that had take place.
When he first came to her with his problem, he was embarrassed, awkward, and
almost afraid to touch the parts of his body that had changed the most. Now,
he acted much more natural. He adjusted the collar, and tugged at the bodice
to make it fit his shape. It was only when he saw her looking that he showed
any sign of embarrassment.

     "It is getting easier, isn't it." Linda said.

     Joe looked at her. He didn't know how to answer. It was true, it was
getting easier. He had to admit that he did like being able to wear clothes
like those he had on. As he continued to get used to the way his body had
changed, he found that it wasn't so bad either. Of course, having these new
hormones working you over helped a lot in that area.

     "Yeah. it is...sometimes." Joe admitted. "But I don't know if I really
want it to be so easy. I don't know if I want to give up my manhood...I mean I
guess it's already gone...but if I can get it back...I think I should want it
back, shouldn't I?"

     "Only you can answer that." Linda said. "Nobody else...not me...not the
doctors...nobody but you can decide that."

     "I don't know if I can make an intellegent decision about this." Joe
said. "I change my mind as often as my clothes."

     "Some say that's a womans right." Linda said laughing.

     "So now I have womens rights too?" Joe teased.

     "I'd say you've earned them, wouldn't you?" Linda answered.

     Joe just looked at her and smiled.

     "Do you want me like this, or the way I was." He asked bluntly.

     Linda looked at her fingernails. Then she looked back at him.

     "Joe, don't worry about what I like, or what I want." She said, the smile
leaving her face as she spoke. "You do what's right for you. I'll want you
however you are."

     Joe turned and looked in the mirror. By now, he had grown accustomed to
how he looked with the wig. His short hair looked strange, and sort of exotic.
He touched his cheek, feeling the softness. His hand then went to his breast.
He cupped it, as if estimating its weight, then squeezed it slightly. The hand
then continued lower, and he carefully felt his pubic area through the dress.

     "I really do look like a girl, don't I?" He said, turning to look at
Linda.  "I just checked, and I guess I feel like one now too.  I don't have
any choice in the matter, but that's what I am. If tomorrow, next month, or
next year they tell me I can go back, then I'll have a difficult decision to
make. Till then I guess this person in the mirror is what I am."

     "And I'll help you." Linda said. "However you want to handle it, I'll
help you."

     "Should I wear this tomorrow?" Joe asked. "Can I wear it to get a hair
cut?"

     "You can if you want to." Linda said. "It'll probably take less than an
hour."

     Joe thought about Sally's...all the women just sitting
around...talking...gossiping...about god knows what. If they even suspected
that he was really a guy...a rooster in the hen-house...he could imagine the
disturbance it would create.  Of course, there is no way he would be
detected...he may not always know precisely how to act like a woman, but
nobody could ever get him confused with a man. Not unless he told them. And
even then it's doubtful they'd believe him.

     Joe unbuckled and unbuttoned the dress, pulled it over his head and
placed it back on the hanger. He had never thought of himself as a clothes
horse, but now he found himself hoping tomorrow would get here, just so he
could wear the dress. So many things are so different, he thought to himself.

     He reluctantly hung the dress in the closet, and then gathered his
underwear from the bed.  He took it into the bathroom, and piled it on the
sink. He would hand wash it before he went to bed as Linda had taught him.
Linda was watching him carefully, and when he came back into the bedroom, she
spoke.

     "I think your going to be all right, Joe Bates." She said approvingly.

     "Yeah." Joe agreed. "I'm really great at washing panties, ain't I." He
said, with a little sarcasm showing.

     "What's that about?" Linda asked. "Do you have a problem all of a
sudden?"

     "No. Not all of a sudden." Joe said. "I just thought about what I could
be doing besides washing out underwear, that's all."

     "Hey. We all have our little details." Linda said. "Your not above them,
and there's no reason to feel sorry for yourself. You say you've had genetic
damage. Well, then it could probably be a lot worse, you know. You could be
dependent on me, or sombody else to feed you, or dress you...you could be a
veg, or something.  I think you are all damn lucky all you lost was your
precious manhood."

     Joe was suprized at Linda's reaction to his slight bitching. But she was
right. It could be a lot worse.

     Joe put his shorts and T-shirt back on. Linda went to the kitchen, and
when he finished dressing, he joined her.

     "Are you hungry?" Linda asked.

     "Oh, I guess I could eat something." Joe answered. 

     "I was just going to have some watermelon." Linda said. "But we could
grill some chicken breasts if you want more than that."

     "No." Joe answered. "If I'm gonna be a girl, I guess I should get used to
eating like a bird." He grinned.

     They sat at the little counter, sharing little chunks of watermelon that
Linda had cut up earlier and placed in the refrigerator to cool. They made
small talk, with Joe asking Linda how her day went, and then explaining what
was happening at Honeybone.

     "So when will they experiment on humans?" Linda asked.

     "I don't know." Joe answered. "I guess it depends on what happens with
whatever else they try."

     "Who will be the first of you four to try it?" She continued. "Would you
want to be the first?"

     Right now I don't know if I would ever want to try it, he thought to
himself.

     "I don't know who would be the first." He answered. "Dave has already
volunteered. He can't wait to be changed back."

     "I'll just have to get over to talk to Cindy." Linda said. "Dave must be
driving her crazy."

     "He certainly isn't all that pleased with the situation." Joe said. "I
guess I felt like he does right after it happened, but now it's different, I
guess I'm just starting to get used to it or something."

     "If I was changed into a guy, I don't think I could ever get used to it."
Linda mused. "I might like it, but I think I'd miss being inside my own body."

     "But that's not how it feels at all." Joe said. "It still feels like I'm
in my regular body.  Sure, there are differences, having boobs...not having a
penis...and those cause some some things to feel different, and it's harder to
do some things, but usually I really don't feel that much different than
before. At least not physically"

     "What do you mean, not physically?" Linda asked. "I would think that
would be the biggest difference."

     "At first, it seemed like it was." But you begin get used to that...sort
of." Joe explained.  "But later...I think it just really started a couple days
ago...something else happens...I don't know...I guess I started thinking
differently...seeing the world differently."

     "Seeing the world differently?" Linda repeated. "How do you see the world
now, compared to before?"

     "Well, now that I've been going around, looking like this..." Joe put
both hands on his chest under his breasts, pushing them up. "I guess I've been
given a new perspective to see life.  Things that I've always taken for
granted...they're either changed...some a little...some a lot...or else
they're probably gone completely to me.  Maybe I'll get used to
it...practically everything about this seems to get easier with each passing
day...but I have had to learn how to cope with so many different things...new
desires...I don't even know what I'm talking about some times."

     "What are the new desires?" Linda asked immediately. "Do you like men, or
are you talking about something else?"

     "I have to admit," Joe continued. "Being with a guy has crossed my mind,
more than once."

     "What about me...about us?" Linda questioned.

     Joe looked at her.  

     "I don't know." He said. "But I do know I don't feel like I did a week
ago.  I just don't see how I could.  Hell, I'm only human."

     "What's going to happen Joe?" Linda asked.

     "I wish I knew." He replied. "Whatever is happening to me...to my
head...it has me going up and down. Sometimes I don't think I've ever been
happier in my life, and then...in just a matter of seconds...I'm crying out of
control. I don't know what causes it...maybe it's normal for a woman.  I don't
know how a woman is supposed to feel.  I only know how I feel."

     "Do you want to stay like that?" Linda asked. "Do you want to stay a
woman?"

     "I can't answer that." Joe said. "If I answer the way I feel, I'd have to
change what I say every few minutes.  There are a lot of interesting things
about being like this...I've started to love the clothes...can you believe
it...me?  But then...I think about my plans..."

     "What plans?" Linda asked.

     "You know...Us." Joe explained. "One week ago, I thought I'd be getting
married, we'd have a few kids...maybe...eventually...but now..."

     "Does it have to be so different?" Linda wondered.

     "Different?" Joe said. "Come on Linda. Sure, maybe we could still live
together...maybe we can sleep together...but that won't make it like it was.
Maybe I can still make you come, but I damn sure can't make you pregnant."

     "We could adopt." Linda said simply. 

     "Do you really think they'd let two WOMEN adopt?" Joe said sarcasticly.

     "We could try, couldn't we?" Linda asked. 

     "Linda, I've already turned in the paperwork...I'm legally female now.
Joe reminded her. "And even if they somehow let us marry anyway, you probably
wouldn't be happy with me.  You're a normal, healthy woman.  You'd want to be
with a man...eventually.  Hell, I might want to too."

     "So what should we do?" Linda wondered aloud.

     "I don't know." Joe said. "But we don't have to rush anything...at least
not for a while. Give them a chance to examine what has happened, and maybe
they can get us back."

     They finished eating, and Joe cleaned up the dishes. Then he went to his
room. It was after ten, and the things that had happened that day had left him
tired. Linda came to his room.

     "Are you going to bed?" She asked.

     "Yeah." Joe said. "I'll shower, and then I think I'll turn in."

     Linda went to her room, and Joe went to his bathroom, closing the door.
He undressed, and started the shower running. As he was soaping down, he felt
his legs. Noticing stubble, he got the shave cream and razor, and shaved his
legs, underarms, and then carefully trimmed his pubic area.

     If I ever do change back, I think I'd still want to keep my legs and
armpits shaved, he thought to himself as he used the razor. I wonder why men
don't do this. Probably because they're pretty hairy all over, he remembered.
Last week, before this happened to him, his chest, and even his arms, had been
covered with much courser hair. That had all fallen out...he found it on his
bedsheets...and now, except for his head, crotch, legs and underarms, the hair
that remained was much shorter, finer, almost downlike.  He liked the feel of
his smooth, practicaly hairless body now that it was feminized.

     After finishing up, Joe stepped out of the shower and dried with a large
bath towel. As he rubbed the towel over his breasts, and then the still
somewhat unfamilure, delicate area between his legs, he thought about how much
had changed in only a week. He was starting to get accustomed to seeing his
trim, sexy form in the mirror as he carefully washed his face. He brushed his
short hair, trying to imagine ways to make it look as feminine as possible. He
wondered what Sally could do with it.

     Joe finished by brushing his teeth, and then, almost as an afterthought,
powdered his body with the scented bath powder.

     When he finished, he ran water into the sink, and added some soap. He
hand washed the nylons he had worn that day, and then started on his
underwear. When he was about to drop the black thong into the soapy water, Joe
noticed the faint white mark of vaginal discharge on the black cotton crotch
lining.  He smiled as he thought of how it got there. Being around his friend
Jay often made him feel funny...and when that happened he soon felt his
underpants become wet. The new excitement had left its mark. Would it be
followed one of these days by the blood of menstrual flow as the nurse at the
clinic had advised them?  He carefully washed all trace of stain from the
little panties.

     After Joe draped the hose and underwear over the handle of the shower
door, he went out into the bedroom. He hadn't put any clothes on, and he was
wondering if he should wear something when Linda came into his room again.
She had showered too, and now wore a pink silk, or satin night shirt.

     She looked at him, standing naked.

     "Would you like something to wear to bed?" Linda asked, seeing Joe's
somewhat embarrased look.

     "I don't know." He said. "So you think I should?" Before he had been
changed, Joe always slept in the nude.

     "It's really up to you." Linda said. "When I'm by myself, I usually like
to wear something." She confided.

     "I'll see what I have." Joe said. "I don't think I have much but a
T-shirt though."

     "Would you like to borrow something from me?" Linda asked, smiling. She
wanted to help, but she didn't want to offend him.

     "What do you suggest?" Joe asked. He found it embarrasing for him to
borrow clothes from Linda, especially since they now sometimes fit him better
than they did her.

     "I'm sure I have another shirt like this." She said. "Or I think I have
some pajamas."

     "I'll try the shirt." Joe said. The air conditioner had come on, and it
was making him feel cold. The chilled air made his nipples change from soft
full cones to points that looked stiff as rocks. He cupped his breasts in his
hands, not liking the sensation when they bounced as he followed Linda to her
room.

     Linda looked through her lingerie drawer and came up with a light blue,
satin nite shirt. It had a stretchy, fitted bodice, with no decoration but a small
bow at the neckline. It had short sleeves, and below the breasts, was made to
fit very loosely.  She handed it to Joe.

     "Try this." She said.

     Joe took the satiny garment and pulled it over his head. It smelled
lightly of Linda's perfume. When it was on, he looked down at himself. The
little satin shirt came to just below his crotch. It covered everything that
needed to be covered, and it felt amazingly warm. His breasts were outlined by
the soft, fluid fabric. He could feel the fabric rubbing against his hardening
nipples as his breasts swayed gently back and forth with his every move. Why
does everything women wear have to look and to feel so damn erotic, he
thought?

     "I think I like it." Joe said, grinning sheepishly.

     "It looks nice on you." Linda said. "But then, everything looks nice on
you." She mockingly put her hands up in disgust.

     Joe went back into his own bedroom, and Linda followed.

     "Do you mind if I sleep in here?" Linda asked.

     "No, it's all right with me." Joe said. "I was thinking of reading for a
while though."

     "That's OK with me." Linda said.

     Joe pulled back the spread and sheet, then turned off the room light at
the switch, leaving on only the lamp at the night stand. Linda crawled into
bed, and Joe followed, and as he did, he noticed that she wore white cotton
panties under the night shirt. She had never worn underpants to bed since they
had been sleeping together regularly, and he wondered why she did so now.

     "Whats with the underwear?" He questioned.

     "I think I'm going to start my period soon." Linda said. "I decided to
wear a pad, just in case."

     "How do you know that?" Joe asked. He was very curious, since it was
likely that the same thing was going to happen to him eventually.

     "Well, it's coming up on the time." She continued. "And I'm starting to
get cramps, just a little."

     "What do cramps feel like?" Joe asked. "Where do you feel them?"

     "I don't know." Linda said. "They hurt...well not hurt exactly...not
yet...more like just a dull ache in my lower abdomen. My breasts feel full
too...I'm guess I'm starting to retain water...you'll know what it feels like
when it happens."

     "I just don't want to get blood all over everything." Joe said. "I have
this fear that I'm gonna wake up one of these mornings, oozing blood." He
grinned.

     "I don't know what's going to happen with you." Linda considered. "You
may not be like the average girl...but if you are, you'll probably just spot
lightly at first. You'll likely have plenty of warning your first time.  Don't
spend any time worrying about it, Joe...It probably won't be that bad."

     "I hope you're right." Joe said warily.  

     He pulled the sheet up to just below his satin covered breasts and
retrieved the book that Karen had suggested he read.  Linda was content to lie
awake, watching him read.

     Sitting half erect in bed, with two pillows propping him up comfortably,
Joe resumed reading where he had left off days ago. He quickly became emersed
in the explaination of genetics, chromosomes, and sexual differientation and
characteristics, which was the subject of the text. As he read on, and learned
about the very things which he was told had been affected in his own body, he
would sometimes touch himself...feeling a breast...nipple...or hip bone. He
forgot that Linda was lying at his side, watching him in silent amusement.

     After she lay silent for maybe a half hour, she just had to speak.

     "What's that book about?" She asked after she watched Joe feel his
protruding hip bone as he read.

     "Well, its a medical text actually." Joe told her. "Its a little hard to
follow, but it explains the difference between the sexes, from a genetic, or
chromosome level. It covers some of the abnormalities which are known to
exist, and gets into why they happen."

     "Is there anything about what happened to you?" Linda asked.

     "No, not so far anyway." Joe said. "Everything so far has been about
genetic abnormalities which exist from birth. I think maybe we're the first
this has happened to."

     "It must really be interesting, the way it holds your attention." Linda
said, rubbing Joe's arm.

     "It is interesting." Joe said. "I've always been fascenated with
genetics. I just never thought I'd have such a strong reason to get more
interested."

     "Joe..." Linda said, trying to get his full attention. "Joe, if you ever
want to be with somebody else...a guy or whatever...if you want to know what
it's like...don't worry, I'd understand."

     Joe looked at her. He felt warmth come to his face as he blushed.  He
reached down and took her hand in his own.

     After a long moment of silence, he began to speak.

     "I appreciate that." He said, smiling. He wondered if he should tell her
about Jay. Then decided it best not to.

     "The truth is," Joe continued slowly, trying to find the words he wanted
to use. "I really don't know what I want anymore. Here I am, my body seems to
be all screwed up...my penis feels like it pulled up inside me, its still all
there, even if it looks the size of a pencil eraser.  And my chest...well you
can see whats happened to it...but overall I don't feel like I'm missing
anything, I'm all still here, just re-arrainged a little bit." He grinned at
his description of what happened to his body.

     "If it so happens that I look female...and I must agree that I do, then
maybe that's what I am. I don't know...I don't really feel like I'm female...I
don't even know what a female is supposed to feel like." He went on. "All I
feel like is me. And I know that for the last few days, my feelings...my
desires...  they've been wondering all over the place."

     "Do I want to be with a man?  Hell, the idea of it scares me to
death...and yet, look at me. If I'm going to have to be this way the rest of
my life, maybe I should consider it. I know that guys...men seem different to
me now...I can't explain it...maybe because they act different around me
too...I don't know."

     "When I think of what my life might be like if I have to stay this
way...Sometimes it all seems like a dream...sometimes a good dream...sometimes
a more like a nightmare." Joe went on. "If I'm going to start living as a
woman, then I'm pretty sure I don't want to live as a lesbian. I don't think
that's what I am now...even with you...I still feel like a guy...a strange
looking one maybe...I agree, but I just can't think of us as two women...not
yet anyway...but that's probably changing...I can't look at myself in the
mirror much longer without seeing the female I guess I've become...looking
back."

     "You can see it too." Joe said to Linda. "A few days ago...last week, I
wouldn't have worn this... (He pulled at the stretchy fabric of the sleepshirt
bodice.) I would have been too embarassed. But now, I think even my mind...my
brain...is changing...accepting...this new perception of who I am...I suspect
even that might still be changing. Do you have any idea what it's like to have
that happen?"

     "I couldn't imagine." Linda said.

     "Well, of everything that has happened so far, it's been the most
difficult part. " Joe answered his own question. "My body...I guess I can get
used to that...some of what's happened is even kinda fun...I admit, I'm a
little concerned about getting periods...getting pregnant...stuff like that.
But I guess I've resigned myself, and some of it all is kinda interesting. You
probably don't even know how fantastic it feels to have your sense of touch
heightened like this...it's all you've ever known."

     "Yeah. It don't seem so special to me." Linda agreed.

     Joe put the book on the night stand. He switched off the lamp, and
reached for Linda in the dark. When she felt his advances, she reached out for
him, and they hugged each other tightly.

     In only a few minutes, they fell asleep in each others arms.

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