So, I was bored with my life and as is often the case with many fascinated by erotic death, in particular cannibalism I wanted to find people like me. I had been into cannibal stories ect. for quite some time and knew that I would like to be the recipient of a cannibals affection. The question was how? I did the regular things, put an ad in Black Plague, posted to the cannibalism news group went to the #cannibalz chat room and let it be known everywhere that I was serious and would consider any offers. I did not hear anything for over a year and, to be honest, did not really expect to. March 3 was a dy that changed my life. It started by my getting up to check my E-mail. I had an E-mail from someone with the subject heading of "interested." I did not realize what it was and thought it was probably a spam; but for some reason I opened it and read it, it read: "we saw your ad in Black plague, are you TRULY serious, and secondly are you a law enforcement officer? Please reply." I was exited I had actually made contact with someone who would talk to me about my ad, I did not know if they were legit, but did not really care at that time. My reply read like this: "I am very serious and NO I am not a law official. Two days later I got another message: "we are very interested in your proposal, and would like to get to know you a little, can you meet us in a private chat room at 9:00 tonight?". Excitedly I replied that I would be glad to, they replied and told me to look for "Carmila" when I get online. I was eager to get online that night , the day seemed like it would never end. My fantasy looked like it had a small chance of coming true. At nine I logged on and went to the prearranged room, they were waiting for me. They asked many questions: "where are you from." "Why do you want this?" "Do you know how to cover your traces?" I answered that I was from the United States and could cover my tracks effectively. My reasons were simple: I had a dull and empty life, and I would rather have an exiting and unusual death at an early age than endure seventy five years of boredom and hardship. Now you must understand that these strangers were trying to tell me how great life could be but I would rebuff every word they would say, I truly wanted to be eaten and would do anything to see that my fantasy came true. Over the course we chatted in chat rooms and eventually got to the point where we exchanged phone numbers, all was going well, but they did not mention when they would want me for over two months. I now know that they had drawn out our courtship because they wanted to see if my interest would wane. . . .it did not. On May 7, they actually asked me if I would come to their ranch for their summer party, I would be the guest of honour and ultimately, the main course. I eagerly agreed to go and we arranged a scheme for me to get there. My hosts lived just outside Phienix, Arizona. I lived in Tacoma, Washington so it was not a great distance to travel, I was to get in my car very early on Tuesday, May 9 and drive to Salt Lake City, Utah where a bus ticket to Phoenix would be waiting. I was to leave my car in an empty garage at 453 Westenra Street, where one on my hosts could arrange to have it picked up and destroyed. The plan went off perfectly and I arrived in Phoenix on May 10. I was met by a man and a woman at the bus depot. "Are you Michael?" they asked. "Yes, you must be Kirk and Bernadette." I replied. We shook hands and then got proceeded out into the parking lot. They had a new burgundy mini van, waiting in the van were three children one was a girl, about thirteen years old, the other was a boy who I would later learn was 10 and lastly was a beautiful baby girl, just six months old. Kirk and Bernadette got into the van and introduced me. "Kids meet Michael, he is going to be our guest at this years summer party." Bernadette told the children. The thirteen year old, Adriana, looked at me and said to her brother: "This is the guy they picked up on the Internet, Todd. He is going to be your first." Todd looked at me fascinated, he had never met any one that he was going to eat before and I must say I had never met anyone, much less a ten year old who was going to eat me before. I looked at Kirk and asked "What does he mean mean his first?" "No kids allowed till ten years old, this will be his first summer party." Kirk answered. We got to the ranch which was just outside Phoenix at about seven in the evening. I stepped out of the van and told them how beautiful the place was. I was told that there were a few rules I would have to follow. It was made very clear to me that my position here was completely voluntary; I could change my mind anytime I wanted to right up to the day of the party. The first rule was that I could only eat once a day, and the meal would consist of steamed rice and chicken. I would be allowed to drink anything I wanted up untll the last three days when I was not to eat anything ond could only drink water. Secondly, I would have to meet the guests at various times before the actual party, just to get to know some of them. Thirdly, I was not to perform and heavy lifting or strenuous exercise because that would toughen my meat. Lastly I was told that, even though I was a guest, I was not a nremal guest' and a distinction had to be made between me and other persons who may come to the ranch, that distinction was that I could not, under any circumstances, wear any clothing. Lastly they informed me that should I still be present at the time of the party I would be made aware of the cooking techniques, but they did not want me to have any body hair and thus I would have to be shaved daily. I agreed to their terms and asked where I would be staying. I was brought to a beautiful room with its oun washroom ( with a sauna hot tub ) and a large projector television. I was to stay in style while I was there. Bernadette opened a drawer and told me that I could keep my clothes in there if I like and told me to strip and report downstairs to be shaved. As I had been asked I reported downstairs, the kids were there and their presence added to my modesty. Bernadette had in her hands a pair of surgical clippers, she shaved off every inch of my body, it tickled like crazy and the kids found my ticklishness to be amusing. After Bernatette ahaved me with the clippers she brought out a straight razor, smeared me all over with shaving cream and began to shave me allover, as she was shaving I became extremely aroused, I was embarassed. Bernadette told me not to be embarassed because it made her job easier. When the shaving was complete I was completely hairless, which made me feel even more naked than I was before. Reassuringly Bernadette told me that every one who had been here before had gone through the same thing and I needn't be embarassed. I then went to bed and fell asleep quickly. The next day Kirk woke me and told me that I would have to meet a few guests thid evening, so after a day of laying in the sun and watching tevevision, I came down to the Living room. There were two couples there, I was introduced to everyone and we talked about what I did, my education, how I found Beradette and Kirk and why I wanted to be eaten. I explained myself and the people were understanding of what I said and did not talk down to me at all, rather they seemed to genuinely appreciate my presence. It was at this party that I found out that no gueat had stayed for the final day in over eleven years. I reassured them that I would not leave and I was seriously lookin forward to being the guest of Honor". They didn't believe me. Over the course of the next two months I would repeat this scene about five or six times and everytime no one expected me to stay, I was determined to proove them wrong but they inevitably told me that everone wanted to proove them wrong and no one had. I made it my personal goal to proove these people wrong. I think I should tell you that although I knew that I was essentialy a well treatedtalking farm animaI I grew to love Bernadette, Kirk and their children, the kids were smart and friendly, and Bernadette and Kirk were warm, good natured people. I had given them the ultimate gift a person could, my body and I am proud to have done so. On evening I asked Kirk how this summer tradition got started and they told me that it dates back to the Civil War when Kirk's ancestors used to use slaves for their cookout. The tradition continied for hundreds of years, but getting willing "guests" was hard, they said that the internet was great for finding vonunteers but unfortumately no one would stay, and they refused to murder anyone. "Since the war only six people have stayed to become part of the meal Michael, if we don't get something going soon the group may disintegrate." Kirk told me. He seemed genuinely worried about his family tradition. "I am not planning to go Kirk, trust me. I don't have any family much less a family tradition. If I can help yours it would be my privelege" I tried to reasure him. "I trust you Mike, but I am used to being let down. I hope you stay, it would mean a lot to me if I could leave this all to my Kids." Kirk replied. "You will Kirk, I promise that." July 31, the day before the Summer Party, everyone was surprised that I was still there. Kirk was happy Bernadette thanked me, it had been along time since she had seen Kirk so happy. Knowing that made me feel really good. Bernadette then told me that since I was going to stay I could come to the table with the family that evening and eat with the rest of them, she gave me a suit to put on and told me to go get dressed. I went up to my room and began to get dressed. I had not thought about being naked 24 hours a day for the last two months, I had grown acustomed to it and being nude was not an issue to me. I got dressed and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked weird, almost not like myself. I had grown comfortable and relaxed in my postion and did not like being a regular person again. However uncomfortable I felt, I went downstairs where Kirk greeted me and told me I looked strange and uncomfortable with clothes on, he went on farther and told me that I look more uncomfortable now than I did when I first had to strip nude. I told him that I was embarassed to be wearing clothes again and couldn't wait to get them off so I could just be myself. Bernadette said not to worry, it was just for a couple of hours. Just a couple of hours seemed an eternity, after we ate I quickly went to my room and removed my suit before going back downstairs. That night and sat up till quite late, taking about great time we had had the last few months. Kirk told me that he almost regretted what was going to happen tomorrow but was very happy and grateful that I had stayed. I told him that there was never any chance of my leaving. At about 1:30 A.M. Kirk and Benadette told me that they had best get to bed since tomorrow was going to be a long day, I said good night and went to bed myself. Before they went upstairs they told me I could leave anytime before they got up in the morning. I told them I would see them tomorrow and retired for the night. As I lie in bed I was exited, my wish was coming true and it was not going to be unpleasant or frightening. I felt complete, for once in my life, I felt hapy and complete. August 1: my big day, all of the guests arrived as about nine in the morning, I got out of bed, and made the room up a little. After I tidied up I ran into the bathroom, and took a very fast shower. Bernadette came into the room to give me my last shave before I went out to greet all the guests. No one knew that I was still there, and the shock on everyones faces was priceless, no one had expected me to stay. For hours I mingled around meeting new people and catching up with people I already knew. Occasionaly someone would want to get a feel for what they were going to be eating for their main course, I didn't mind, some people even ased if they could reserve a particular cut of my meat with me or if they had to talk to Kirk, I didn't know, but I took down their names and wrote down the cut they wanted. The honesty of the situation made me feel so comfortable, I knew what I was here for and every person there, from the children to the adults, knew what I was here for. There was no pretense. I found that reassuring. As I was talking to the guests I noticed the pit where I would be roasted, it was about five feet long, three feet wide and two feet deep. The pit was topped with a tin structure that looked like a pup tent, the middle of the structure had holes in it where the spit would be passed through. The front of my roaster was hinged so that it could be opened, I assumed this was for basting me. The pit was filled with charcoal brickettes and lava stones. It looked to me like all that had to be done now was light the coals and put me on, I could hardly wait. Kirk approached me at about 11:30 and told me there were a few things we had to go over before they got me on the spit and roasting. I excused myself and went with him to the kitchen where Bernadette was waiting. "Michael I know we havent gone over this before but I am going to tell you what is going to happen now." Bernadette told me. "Your roasting will be done if two steps, first we will tie securely you to the spit, then baste you with honey and put you into the roaster alive, it will probalby take about 15 or 20 minutes for you to pass on." Continuing Bernadette said. "After you die we will bring your body back in here, quicky remove all your internal organs except for your heart and fill you with stuffing. Lastly we will cut off your head, hands and feet. After that is done it will take about five hours or so to finish roasting you this time basting you with barbecue sause. Dinner will be at about six tonight. Do you have any questions?" She asked. "No. How long till we get started?" I replied. "We get started now: get up in the counter and lie on your stomach please." Bernadette asked. Once I was on the counter I saw Kirk come into the kitchen with a metal pole, about seven feet long and two inches thick. The pole had four rods on it which looked as if they would go against my shoulders, the small of my back, my hips and my knees. The pole was laid on my back, it was cold. . . I winced and Kirk appologized for my discomfort. The Rod closest to my knees was put at the rear of my knee joints and my ankles were pulled up toward my buttocks, fireproof rope was used to tie my ankles to the next of the securing rods. I was then tied securely at the waist and the shoulders. Finally my arms were secured to my sides. Kirk asked me if I could move, I told them I could not. "Good" Kirk said. Two men then came in an put my spitted body an a set of crossed pipes so that Bernadette could baste me with honey. She used a soft paint brush to apply the hot honey to my body, she didn't miss an inch, as she was basting me I became aroused, Bernadette loked at my erect Penis and called out to Kirk. "Kirk! Kirk honey , what about his cock, if it is just hanging down it will dry up or shrivel away or burn, what should we do with it?" Bernadette asked. "Aren't you going to cut it off with my head and hands?" I asked. "No" Bernadette replied. "I am going to fill your scrotum with honey garlic sause and I will have the privelege of getting to eat your testicles as well as your penis." By this time Kirk had come into the room, he had another short section of rope, he told Bernadette to tie my penis against my abdomen, he emphasised that she would have to tie it rather tightly and apologized to me for any pain I may feel as a result. "No problem" I replied. "How are you feeling Michael?" Bernadette asked me. "Nervous as hell, but not really scared. I think I have stage fright." I replied "I really want to thank you for this Michael, it has been my privelige to meet you." Bernadette kissed me softly on the forehead before calling for someone to put me over the coals. As I was being carried out I told Kirk about the piece of paper I had used to take orders for my meat. Kirk said he would have a look at it but hadn't decidedhow he was going to divide my meat up. I was being carried knees forward with my face pointing upwards and did not know why it was taking so long to get to the pit. I could only guess that I was being paraded around before going into the roaster because I was being applauded by everyone ht the Party. Finally we stopped moving and I could feel the heat of the Roasting pit. It was time. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, I heard the top of the pit open and feel myself being lowered into the roaster with my back to the coals. The lid was closed and I heard Kirk say that dinner is on schedule and we would be eating at six o'clock That brings you up to speed with what had happened to me up to this time, the heat is incredible in here and I am having a hard time staying awake. I have my wish, not many people can honestly say that they have lived their fantasy. I am lucky, this experience had granted me true friends, and shown me that sacrifice is a beautiful thing. I know there are people who are reading this who will not understand, but I know that there are people that are reading this who do and this is for them. Dreams are a special and evasive, I have caught my dream and made it a reality largely on my terms. I hope everyone reading this can use my experience as motivation to do with your life as you see fit, regardless of what others may think or say. Have no regrets and live.