So, I was bored with my life and as is often the case with many fascinated by erotic death, in particular cannibalism I wanted to find people like me. I had been into cannibal stories ECT. For quite some time and knew that I would like to be the recipient of a cannibals affection. The question was how? I did the regular things, put an ad in Black Plague, posted to the cannibalism news group went to the #cannibalz chat room and let it be known everywhere that I was serious and would consider any offers. I did not hear anything for over a year and, to be honest, did not really expect to. March 3 was a day that changed my life. It started by my getting up to check my E-mail. I had a message from someone with the subject heading of "interested." I did not realize what it was and thought it was probably a spam; but for some reason I opened it and read it, it read: "we saw your ad in Black plague, are you TRULY serious? And secondly are you a law enforcement officer? Please reply." I was exited I had actually made contact with someone who would talk to me about my ad, I did not know if they were legit, but did not really care at that time. My reply read like this: "I am very serious and NO I am not a law official. Two days later I got another message: "we are very interested in your proposal, and would like to get to know you a little, can you meet us in a private chat room at 9:00 tonight?". Excitedly I replied that I would be glad to, they replied and told me to look for "Carmila" when I get online. I was eager to get online that night, the day seemed like it would never end. My fantasy looked like it had a small chance of coming true. At nine I logged on and went to the prearranged room, they were waiting for me. They asked many questions: "where are you from?" "Why do you want this?" "Do you know how to cover your traces?" I answered that I was from the United States and could cover my tracks effectively. My reasons were simple: I had a dull and empty life, and I would rather have an exiting and unusual death at an early age than endure seventy five years of boredom and hardship. Now you must understand that these strangers were trying to tell me how great life could be but I would rebuff every word they would say, I truly wanted to be eaten and would do anything to see that my fantasy came true. Over the course we chatted in chat rooms and eventually got to the point where we exchanged phone numbers, all was going well, but they did not mention when they would want me for over two months. I now know that they had drawn out our courtship because they wanted to see if my interest would wane. It did not. On May 7, they actually asked me if I would come to their ranch for their summer party, I would be the guest of honour and ultimately, the main course. I eagerly agreed to go and we arranged a scheme for me to get there. My hosts lived just outside Phoenix, Arizona. I lived in Tacoma, Washington so it was not a great distance to travel, I was to get in my car very early on Tuesday, May 9 and drive to Salt Lake City, Utah where a bus ticket to Phoenix would be waiting. I was to leave my car in an empty garage at 453 Westenra Street, where one on my hosts could arrange to have it picked up and destroyed. The plan went off perfectly and I arrived in Phoenix on May 10. I was met by a man and a woman at the bus depot. "Are you Michael?" they asked. "Yes, you must be Kirk and Bernadette." I replied. We shook hands and then proceeded out into the parking lot. They had a new burgundy mini van, waiting in the van were three children one was a girl, about thirteen years old, the other was a boy who I would later learn was 10 and lastly was a beautiful baby girl, just six months old. Kirk and Bernadette got into the van and introduced me. "Kids meet Michael, he is going to be our guest at this years summer party." Bernadette told the children. The thirteen year old, Adriana, looked at me and said to her brother: "This is the guy they picked up on the Internet, Todd. He is going to be your first." Todd looked at me fascinated, he had never met any one that he was going to eat before and I must say I had never met anyone, much less a ten year old who was going to eat me before. I looked at Kirk and asked "What does she mean his first?" "No kids allowed till ten years old, this will be his first summer party." Kirk answered. We got to their ranch which was just outside Phoenix at about seven in the evening. I stepped out of the van and told them how beautiful the place was. I was told that there were a few rules I would have to follow and obey. It was made very clear to me that my position here was completely voluntary; I could change my mind anytime I wanted to right up to the day of the party. The first rule was that I could only eat once a day, and the meal would consist of steamed rice and chicken. I would be allowed to drink anything I wanted up untll the last three days when I was not to eat anything and could only drink water. Secondly, I would have to meet the guests at various times before the actual party, just to get to know some of them. Thirdly, I was not to perform and heavy lifting or strenuous exercise because that would toughen my meat. Next I was told that, even though I was a guest, I was not a normal guest' and a distinction had to be made between me and other persons who may come to the ranch, that distinction was that I could not, under any circumstances, wear any clothing,(which included shoes, socks or even a towel around my waist) or jewelery. Finally, they informed me that should I still be present at the time of the party I would be made aware of the cooking techniques, but they did not want me to have any body hair and thus I would have to be shaved daily. I agreed to their terms and asked where I would be staying. I was brought to a beautiful room with its own washroom ( with a sauna and a hot tub ) and a large projector television and a full bar stocked with fine wines. I was to stay in style while I was there. Bernadette opened a drawer and told me that I could keep my clothes in there if I like and told me to strip and report downstairs to be shaved. As I had been asked I reported downstairs, the kids were there and their presence added to my modesty. Bernadette had in her hands a pair of surgical clippers, she shaved off every inch of my body, it tickled like crazy and the kids found my ticklishness to be amusing. After Bernatette ahaved me with the clippers she brought out a straight razor, smeared me all over with shaving cream and began to shave me allover, as she was shaving I became extremely aroused, I was embarassed. Bernadette told me not to be embarassed because it made her job easier. When the shaving was complete I was completely hairless, which made me feel even more naked than I was before. Reassuringly Bernadette told me that every one who had been here before had gone through the same thing, I needn't be embarassed. I then went to bed and fell asleep quickly. The next day Kirk woke me and told me that I would have to meet a few guests that evening, so after a leisurely day of laying in the sun and watching tevevision when Kirk called for me to come down to the living room to meet some of their friends I was nervous, I hadn't met them before and I was to go and greet them, in the nude, and talk about being the main course at a party in eleven weeks time. After I psyched myself up I came down to the Living room. There were two couples there, I was introduced to everyone and we talked about what I did, my education, how I found Beradette and Kirk and why I wanted to be eaten. I explained myself and the people were understanding of what I said and did not talk to me rudely or coldly at all, rather they seemed to genuinely appreciate my presence and my willingness. The experience was very comfortable, I might even say it was a positive one. It was during this first visit that I found out that no guest had stayed for the final day in over eleven years. I reassured them that I would not leave and I was seriously looking forward to being the guest of Honor.' They didn't believe me. Over the course of the next two months I would repeat this scene about five or six times and everytime no one expected me to stay. I was determined to proove them wrong but they inevitably told me that everone wanted to proove them wrong and no one had. Every night before going to sleep I was exited about getting closer to my final day when everyone who doubted me woult know that I was serious. I think I should tell you that although I knew that I was, at first, essentialy a well treated talking farm animaI I grew to love Bernadette, Kirk and their children. The kids were smart and friendly, and Bernadette and Kirk were warm, good natured people. I had given them the ultimate gift a person could, my body and I am proud to have done so. They treated me very well and I appreciate that very much. For the two and a half month we got to know each other very well, I was even asked to babysit the kids a few times, which was sort of unusual. I felt like a member of the family, I was truly happy. One evening I asked Kirk how this summer tradition got started and they told me that it dates back to the Civil War when Kirk's ancestors used to use slaves for their cookout. The tradition continied for hundreds of years, but getting willing "guests" was hard, he said that the internet was great for finding volunteers but unfortunately no one would stay, and he refused to murder anyone. "Since the war only six people have stayed to become part of the meal Michael, if we don't get something going soon the group may disintegrate." Kirk continued. "You know that Adriana and Todd have never been to an actual, proper Summer Party? We haven't even been able to get anyone to show up and actually hear us out, I am really banking on you Michael." "I am not planning to go Kirk, trust me. I don't have any real family much less a family tradition. I feel like this is where I belong, I feel like doing this is my most important responsibility, don't forget that this is also my goal in life." I tried to reasure him. "I trust you Mike, but I am used to being let down. I hope you stay, it would mean a lot to me if I could leave this all to my Kids." Kirk replied. "You will Kirk, I promise that." July 31, the day before the Summer Party, everyone was surprised that I hadn't left. I came down to the kitchen at about eleven o'clock, Bernadette was preparing something for lunch. She proceeded to tell me that Kirk, who was usually depressed at this time of the year was pleasant and happy and his happiness was my doing. Knowing that made me feel really good. Bernadette then told me that since I had been so good to then and, apparently, was going to stay I could come to the table with the family that evening and eat with the rest of them, as a member of the family. She gave me a suit to put on and told me to go get dressed. I went up to my room and began to get dressed. The clothes were uncomfortable. I had not really thought about being naked 24 hours a day for the last two months, I had grown acustomed to it. Being nude was not an issue to me anymore, it was part of who I was. I got dressed and looked at myself in the mirror, I looked weird, not like myself. I had grown so comfortable and relaxed in my postion here that I did not like being a regular' person again. I was happier knowing what my fate was and when it would happen. Now every old feeling of helplessness I had felt for years before coming here rushed back to me now. However uncomfortable I felt, I knew that this was a gesture from my friends,so I went downstairs where Kirk greeted me. Right away he knew I was very uncomfortable with clothes on, he told me that I look more uncomfortable now than I did when I first had to be naked all of the time. I Didn't lie and told him that I was uneasy wearing clothes again and couldn't wait to get them off so I could just be myself. Bernadette said not to worry, it was just for a couple of hours. Just a couple of hours seemed an eternity, after we ate I quickly went to my room and removed my suit before going back downstairs. As I walked downstairs the feeling of air on my skin made me relaxed, I felt much better. That night we all sat up till quite late, taking about great time we had had the last few months. Kirk told me that he almost regretted what was going to happen tomorrow if I stayed, but still said that he would be very happy and grateful if I stayed. I told him that there was never any chance of my leaving. At about 1:30 A.M. Kirk and Benadette told me that they had best get to bed since tomorrow was going to be a long day, I said good night and intended to go to bed myself. Before they went upstairs they told me I could leave anytime before they got up in the morning, and if I wanted to go I could take the van to drive to Phoenix bus depot. They had a ticket on the fridge held up by a magnet, I had seen it every day, but had not considered using it up to this time. . . I still wasn't interested in going. I told them I would see them tomorrow. "You are REALLY going to stay aren't you Michael?" Bernadette asked after Kirk had gone upstairs. "Yes I am." I replied. "I want this, I really do." She smiled and went to bed. I lingered in the living room for a few minutes looking around the room I had grown so comfortable in. "Tomorrow at this time" I thought to myself, "I won't be here anymore." I got up and went to the fridge to get a bottle of water. As I opened the door I saw the leftovers from tonights meal, I just looked at the plate for a few minutes then closed the door. The bus ticket fellto the floor, I picked it up and read it quickly, then tore it in half, tearing the ticket felt good. I continued tearing the ticket untill it was reduced to confetti sized bits of paper. I put the shredded ticket on the kitchen counter, next to the fridge, and went up to my room. As I lie in bed I was exited, my wish was coming true and it was not going to be unpleasant or frightening. I hadn't been locked up in a cellar, or forced to do anything bizarre. All the stories I read about cannibalism and the strange sexual implications in such stories had not happened here. I felt complete, for once in my life, I felt happy and complete. August 1: this was my big day, all of the guests arrived as about nine in the morning, I got out of bed, and made the room up a little. After I tidied up I ran into the bathroom, and took a very fast shower. As I was showering Bernadette came into the room she told me that Kirk had found the ticket on the counter and thatnked me. She then took my shaving gel out of the cabinet and proceeded to give me my last shave before I was to go and mingle with the guests for a few hours. I was very exited. No one knew that I was still there, and the shocked looks I saw everyones faces as I came out back was priceless, no one had expected me to stay. For hours I mingled around meeting new people and catching up with people I had met previously. The honesty of the situation made me feel so comfortable, I knew what I was here for and every person there, from the children to the adults, knew what I was here for. There was no pretense. I found that reassuring. Occasionaly someone would want to get a good look and feel of what they were going to be eating for their main course so I was occasionally asked to turn around or grabbed and squeezed, I didn't mind. Some people even asked if they could reserve a particular cut of my meat with me or if they had to talk to Kirk, I didn't know, so I took down their names and wrote down what they wanted. . . I thought to myself that there wasn't going to be many leftovers for Kirk and Bernadette. As I was talking to the guests I noticed the pit where I would be roasted. The pit was about five feet long, three feet wide and two feet deep, it was topped with a tin roaster that looked sort of like an aluminum pup tent, the middle of the structure had holes in it where the spit would be passed through. The back of my roaster was hinged so that it could be opened, and the front had a handle to open it up. The front of the roaster had a small trough under it that drained into a pot, beside the pot was a ladel, I assumed it was to catch juices as I roasted so Kirk and Bernadette cold baste me in my own sauce. The pit was filled with charcoal brickettes and lava stones. It looked to me like all that had to be done now was light the coals and put me on, I could hardly wait. Kirk approached me at about 11:30 and told me there we had to get started soon and there were a few things we had to go over before they started cooking. As Kirk told me this he leaned down and lit the coals. I excused myself from the party and went with him to the kitchen where Bernadette was waiting. "Michael I know we havent gone over this before but I am going to tell you what is going to happen now." Bernadette told me. "Your roasting will be done if two steps, first we secure you to the spit with flame resistant cord, then baste you with honey and put you into the roaster alive, this step will probalby take about 15 or 20 minutes. This is more or less to see if the roaster will accomodate you properly. I should tell you that You likely won't survive the first 20 minutes in the roaster. . . which is probably a good thing." Continuing Bernadette said. "Then we will bring your body back in here, quicky remove all your internal organs except for your heart rinse out your body cavity with water, fill you with dry stuffing and then pour a few bottles of white wine into the stufing after you are filled. Before you go back in the roaster we will cut off your head, hands and feet and pull and tie your skin over the openings so there is no meat showing. It should take about five hours or so to finish roasting as you cook I will be basting you with a roasted garlic sauce I made as well as your own juices. After you are cooked we will bring you back in here, take you off the spit, smear you with honey glaze then put you an a large tray and broil for a few minutes you untill you turn golden brown. After you are finished you will be brought to the head table where Kirk will carve you. Do you have any questions?" She asked. "No. How long till we get started?" I replied. "We get started now: get up in the counter and lie on your stomach please." Bernadette asked. Once I was on the counter I saw Kirk come into the kitchen with a metal pole, about seven feet long and two inches thick. The pole had four rods on it which looked as if they would go against my shoulders, the small of my back, my hips and my knees. The pole was laid on my back, it was cold. . . I winced and Kirk appologized for my discomfort. The Rod closest to my knees was put at the rear of my knee joints and my ankles were pulled up toward my buttocks, fireproof rope was used to tie my ankles to the next of the securing rods. I was then tied securely at the waist and the shoulders. Finally, my arms were secured to my sides at my elbows and wrists. Kirk asked me if I could move, I told them I could not. "Good" Kirk said. Two men then came in an put my spitted body an a set of rack so that Bernadette could baste me with honey. She used a soft paint brush to apply the hot honey to my body, she didn't miss an inch, as she was basting me I became aroused, Bernadette loked at my erect Penis and called out to Kirk. "Kirk! Kirk, honey what about his cock, I don't want it to dry out or burn, what should I do with it?" Bernadette asked. "Aren't you going to cut it off with my head and hands?" I asked. "No, I forgot to tell you." Bernadette replied. "I am going to fill your scrotum with honey and wine sauce and will have the privelege of getting to eat your testicles and your penis." By this time Kirk had come into the room, he had another section of rope, he told Bernadette to tie my penis against my abdomen, he emphasised that she would have to tie it rather tightly and apologized to me for any pain I may feel as a result. "No problem" I replied. "How are you feeling Michael?" Bernadette asked me. "Nervous as hell, but not really scared. I think I have stage fright." I replied "I really want to thank you for this Michael, it has been my privelige to meet you." Bernadette kissed me softly on the forehead before calling for someone to put me over the coals. As I was being carried out I told Kirk about the orders I had taken for my meat for my meat. Kirk said he would have a look at it but hadn't decided how he was going to divide the meat up. I was being carried knees forward with my face pointing upwards, it was a beautiful day, not a cloud in the sky, the sun was hot, it felt good and there was just the slightest hint of a breeze. It was taking a long time to get to the pit which was only a short distance from the house. I could only guess that I was being paraded around before going into the roaster because I was being applauded by everyone ht the Party. Finally we stopped moving and I could feel the heat of the Roasting pit. It was time. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, I heard the top of the pit open and feel myself being lowered into the roaster with my back to the coals. Before the lid was closed I looked to the side and saw the huge crowd of guests gathered around to see me go into the roaster: fathers had their kids ontheir shoulders so they could see. The last thing I saw before the top was loweres was Bernadette and the kids, smiling at me. I looked up at Kirk he looked at me and began to lower the lid. Just as the lid was closed and I heard Kirk say that dinner is on schedule and we would be eating at six o'clock. That brings you up to speed with what had happened to me up to this time, the heat is incredible in here and I am having a hard time staying awake. I have my wish, not many people can honestly say that they have lived their fantasy. I am lucky, this experience had granted me true friends, and shown me that sacrifice is a beautiful thing. I know there are people who are reading this who will not understand, but I know that there are people that are reading this who do and this is for them. Dreams are a special and evasive, I have caught my dream and made it a reality largely on my terms. I hope everyone reading this can use my experience as motivation to do with your life as you see fit, regardless of what others may think or say. Have no regrets and live.